Stop the World! Just Let Me…

Anyone can imagine, some are right there with me, Marathon training holds a plethora of life metaphors. There are varying degrees of injury that grip you throughout and there is this balance that must be struck…

Rest and Heal
or
Suck It Up n’ Push on Through

The decision is often less physical than it is mental and when you learn to keenly assess and take mini or massive leaps of faith in the direction of Push on Through you are simply Stunned by the reserve of power you hold. And equally, you become attuned to when one more mile will turn mind-blowing ache to major injury.

As in life, the call is completely ours and to conquer the race for the long haul, we must learn to master this balance with intent and determination.

This week for us was filled with all kindsa crazy.
Ever notice how life can spin this way sometimes?
(Ah yes, rhetorical question).

We all face this from time to time, and I believe we all secretly long to whisper or shout the cliche, “Stop the ride. I wanna get off.”

In our push to evolve to greater health, we took a detour. Knowing that this month we were embracing a journey of the Vegan-kind as a family, with a small mindful community in T-Bay and linking to the grand vision of my friend and founder of Modern Vegan Family, Laura Simonson, in preparation… We indulged. You know, ate all those decadent things we thought we might miss.

Well, as you can guess, acidity at home in our systems, we opened the door for ill. We all got sick. But our Nathaniel got the worst of it, with a cold sore developing just under his eye, his eye swelling near shut and a very real concern for his sight potentially being damaged. We had 4 doctor visits in 5 days, while trying to juggle my client meetings, the kid’s programs that I’m involved in organizing, taking my dad to his neurologist appointment for his Parkinson’s 1st assessment since being diagnosed (playing out in a emerg drop-off, a neurology appointment and a return to emerg).

All the while watching my baby with his eye near swollen shut, feeling his pain, being concerned about the risk versus benefit of putting his little body thru anti-virals and anti-biotics and doing my best to smile, maintain peace and joyful anticipation of a positive outcome…

Yep this week I Pushed Through and no one but Todd knew of the daily migraines that dizzied me.

So do I get your sympathy vote? Ha ha

I shouldn’t, really. This is just life, as it comes sometimes and there are some who juggle far far more, for the long road.

Our hurdles have been leapt and Nathaniel is healing and as fired-up as ever.

I share this with you because, first of all, so many read me as this perpetually positive entity that often lives with ease while juggling much. “How do you do it?” folks say.

(Dangerous things those pedestals. They are never real and guaranteed to wobble n’ crash.)

I love busy, ideas, creation, flow, and Push Through. Sometimes I ride it all well and sometimes I don’t. These are the times when I Go In and Rest, as we all should. I push through for my kids, for our family, for those in need and, yes, I would have been caught (if you were in my head this week), screaming “Enough already, stop the ride.”

At one tough point, when crankiness in our home was running rampant and voices running high, I shed a tear.
Liam saw the shift in me immediately and asked,
“Mommy, why are you sad?”
I told him how I long to maintain peace with all of us, even when we’re all out of sorts and I apologized to him for my not being able to encourage this better in moments.
He jumped from his seat and came to me and wrapped his arms around me,
“Mommy it isn’t what comes from your head that matters, it’s what comes from here (he lay his hand on my chest), from your heart.”
He sat back down and continued with his breakfast, as I stared and let his words sink in.
As he chews he says, in 6-year-old matter-of-fact tone.
“We know Mommy. We know you always come from your heart.”
He looks up and sees the look of love and gratitude in my eyes, spilling now.
“Be happy Mommy, we love you.”

When life spins wild, as it will,
When injury, overwhelm-ment comes, as it does,
When you wonder how you will go on,
juggle it all, push through,
KNOW, there is more to you than meets the eye, even more power than even you can know…yet.
And when the world lets up a little,
When you know enough is enough,
Have the good sense to rest.
And by all means, let out your sorrow,
even if just a little,
So the love of those around you can inspire you, heal you and spur you on,
In this glorious marathon that is our life.

Give ‘er!
Meet ya at the finish line, again and again, for celebrations (gotta know we’re running more than one over the years to come).
Happy pacing,
jenni

My magic man… Men, who fuel me and fill me and make it all so worthwhile…

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