Last night I tucked in our 4-year-364-day old bundle of boy.
“Mommy when I wake tomorrow it’s my birthday right?”
“Yes it is Nathaniel.”
“Instead of me coming into your bed tomorrow, I would like to stay in my bed and pray. I want you and Daddy to come too, k?”
I smiled, surprised because while we meditate and pray daily in our own loving ways, this isn’t a ‘family ritual’ per say. This was coming straight from our brilliant and in-tune babe.
“That sounds beautiful Nathaniel. When you wake, knock on our wall by your bed and Daddy and I will come straight away.”
“It will be early Mommy, cause I’m so excited about my day.”
I am amazed by him and delighted by this sparky-treasure in our lives. Life oozes out of him and seeps into the hearts in the world about him.
“Of course my love, just knock and we’ll come.”
One more kiss and hug for my last-day-of-4 baby and I shut the door with a deep sigh and a longing to freeze time.
Sure enough, our lil ticking clock’s alarm taps at 7:00 a.m. sharp. We pitter patter to his room and find him, sitting straight-backed, hands in prayer, night light setting his silhouette aglow, praying.
Pure and precious and a moment I’ll never forget.
To let his brother asleep the top bunk catch a few more ‘zzzs’, we suggest candles and connection in our room. He giggles out the door, as quiet as a day-old 5 year boy can be. He sees the balloons, his breakie-chair sign and agrees to wait for the full reveal until his Liam wakes.
We tip toe to room, spark the candle and sit together. He “Ommms” and settles in for Divine connects.
I have to ask, “So my beautiful birthday boy, what is it you pray about.”
“Well, I pray that Liam will never grow older.”
Surprise again. “Why do you pray for that sweetie?”
“Because I want him to stay just as he is, just as we are, right now.”
The tears come rising. I know just how he feels.
And yet as I watch Nathaniel grow, as we lay in bed telling him the ‘story of how he came to be and how he entered this world’, I am keenly aware… While I think these moments with him could never be as precious, as sacred, as dear, somehow, somehow, it just gets better and deeper and sweeter.
With each second of celebration today, bowling (as he quietly and gently takes top score), present opening (as he spills over with joy time and time again), as he blows out candles and with closed eyes makes his wishes of heart… I watch, I breathe him in fully, and my prayer is to ride each moment to the next, aware of his sweetness, engaged in his learning and innate wisdom, and fully delighted as we evolve through all these years together.
Happy 5th Birthday my twinkle-star of love, Nathaniel.