Ever have those moments, days perhaps, when you feel like the balance and innate power you possess to flow and create and juggle a gazzilion balls in the air is off kilter and zapped?
It perhaps was not apparent to the world around me, perhaps not even to me (because when you walk in a haze the day just seems a little dazzy, nothin’ wrong;). Hmm
But then there are these ‘things’ that begin to give-way to the truth and, if we are aware enough, we can see that we are about to Shift or BE Shifted. No other way thru to the clear really.
My SIGN was that I, a super organized (some may whisper ‘type A’) with a keen desire to take her relaxed and flowing B out for a stroll, began loosing things. First my favorite travel coffee mug, then my keys and finally yesterday the combination to the lock for the locker that houses cross-country gear needed for today’s lessons.
I can let many things go, see the lesson, recognize the opportunity for deeper understanding, keener attention to the moment and above all to practice forgiveness for self and others. I’m great at doing this for my boys. I’m okay at doing this for me.
But not last night.
3 losses was the charm to start the berating of me (quietly) churning.
On the drive out to a Christmas fireworks show with our family, I silently muttered, racking my brain for where I could possibly have put that tiny, yet essential paper, with those 6 digits to my salvation.
I was seated in between my boys. My mind whirled. I was half present, missing precious moments to be sure. And then, truly rarely heard in our home I whispered with an outside voice intended for in, “How could I be so dumb as to loose that combination? I’m usually so on it. What is wrong with me?”
Ohhh boy… Everyone in our family knows if the boys ever say anything hurtful to self or others, it is time for a check-in and some loooove reminders.
Well, before I even realized that I’d really shared allowed, Nathaniel pipes up…
“Mommy don’t say that. I think you are perfect just the way you are.”
And then riding the end of Nathaniel’s sentence, Liam says…
“I was just going to say that. I think you are perfect too Mommy.”
And then silence. ‘Nough said.
I thought. I knew they were right. I felt the love they have for me pour in, my worry and frustration pour out and the love I feel for me and all I am and try to be fill me full.
“You are right boys. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me who I am.”
They just snuggled in a little closer and I beamed in awe and peace.
Oh that we would be the messengers of love and compassion for those we love, for ourselves, for perfect strangers…
Could there be a greater quest?
I think not.
For when we just love ourself and others for exactly who we are and where we are at, then and only then can we peacefully make the Shift for a greater version of ourselves for all the right reasons.
Tomorrow a.m. I am set to get back to my hour meditation and I have a morning read n’ snuggle time booked with my boys. Amen to perfection and wanting even more of IT!
In the spirit of too much perfection;)