“Emotional reactivity is behind every bad pattern,
bad decision, and bad relationship.
— we operate out of our anxiety and, ironically,
end up creating the very outcomes we were hoping to avoid.
ScreamFree Living [means taking ] … the number one step
toward creating the types of relationships
we truly crave [by] learning to calm down.
ScreamFree Parenting offers a revolutionary new option
by inviting parents to focus on themselves,
grow themselves up, and calm themselves down.“
Through my business Center of YES!, Inc. and Project YES! Life, I have facilitated countless workshops to organizations on The 7 Truths to Living Your YES! Life. One of those truths is Speaking Your Truth from a Place of Center or to use the lingo of the quote above, sans emotional reactivity.
We’ve all been there… the awkward silence that follows the emotional rage a colleague or friend spews forth, making it painfully apparent they are just no longer able to deal. Whatever their valid and valuable points may have been, the wisdom goes blasting out the window and those still standing are only left with a bad taste of disrespect in their mouths. Ideas are lost, guilt ensues and the person (God forbid it is you), are left reeling now, not just missing the wisdom that is now scattered on the wind, but with no clue how to go about repairing the wreckage after Hurricane-Crazy-You.
Not one single bit of good can come of ‘losing it’.
And I learned and taught and inspired others on how to Stop, Center and Respond (versus React). People nodded, ‘ooed & awed’ and generally felt validated and enlightened as they built their Centered Frames of Reference with each centered-choice made.
I felt good to go. Pretty confident of the power of peace in the workplace and in life. My man and I met and married and we were on the same page and WE felt good to go. And then… we had two boys 17 months apart and somewhere along the way, our conviction was chipped slowly, unassumingly away. First we were yelling just to be heard over the sheer decibels of childhood. Then, it moved through the house to encourage action even though we weren’t in the same room. And then, there were times when I actually think I heard the wisdom shatter and scatter and we were all left in a heap of tears.
Now for those who know me, screaming is not a way of life for me or for our family, but isn’t once or twice in just the right crazed manner enough to want to make a shift? I believe, as I have all my life that calm, peace, joy, gratitude are all just choices. We can see it or we don’t but life is a whole lot better when we do.
Our boys meditate, we pray together, we don’t have punishment in our home, but centering time and always an opportunity to ‘chose again’ in any moment. But the voices were sometimes raised in the delivery and, in my world, this is not a value I hold by any means and, when this be the case, I’m out to change it and how, and now!
My beautifully enlightened friend Farhana Dhalla, author of ‘Thank you for Leaving Me”, is an expert contributor on one of the most awe-inspiring radio programs available FREE to parents, mentors and anyone with one iota of desire to enrich mind and heart, called The Great Parenting Show. Honestly, I’ve listened to Farhana’s inspiring talks, but was so busy LifeSchooling that I listened to little else that was available. Until this morning.
It was a like a light bulb of MOMumental dimensions illuminating deep and fundamental knowledge from within. Hal uses logic, straight-up truth and lingo that enables you to grasp the gravity of losing it on any level and the hope that exists for our families and our world when we opt in to ante up and act like the Leaders we long to BE for our children, for our spouse, for ourselves.
He had me twitching with ideas, releasing familiar fears and making a connection between how I lived my life without children and the beautiful opportunity I have to be a leader in the home the way I have been as an entrepreneur, coach, writer and speaker.
Yea Hal. Thank you Farhana Dhalla for the spark to connect to this fantastic program. And thank you to Laura Simonson, The Doggess, (Wellness-4-Puppies-&-the-World Guru) for using your SupHER powers of connecting like-souls and making the link between Farhana and myself.
Ahhhh how it all weaves together in wonder for wisdom and wow.
Do yourself, your children, your world a favor and visit Hal Runkel’s site at Scream Free, and The Great Parenting Show for insights and inspiration on every topic imaginable. Even when we think we are good to go, aren’t we ALL really not wanting to rest until we’re GREAT to GO?!!
I’m in for Scream-Free Livin’ … YOU?
Let me know what you do with all that left over energy when you have chosen calm, feel proud of what you are putting ‘out there’ each day and are embracing a keener version of Drama-Free Livin’:)
Schweet isn’t it? 🙂